We've had a bump in our journey so I'm taking a bit of a step back for a little while. Working on a more effective backup and sideways. And I am working with a distance energy healer realigner amazing person Margaret. She has told me things that I had no idea about Cici, and things that I suspected and things that I knew.
With Margaret's help working on make that heart connection with Cici, having her do the ultimate let go and let me in. Can't even describe what Margaret does but today had a different Cici. I could tell this was hard for her and could not stay with it for long amounts of time.
I ran my hands down her neck to GB21, a place just in front of her scapular that she indicated to Margaret was a favorite place. And I started scratching and rubbing the area. I could feel her hesitate under my hands. "Should I let her in?" She slowly allowed it and after a little while sighed. I felt the tight muscles slowly begin to relax.
I moved to the relaxation point on her neck that Margaret also mentioned, just at the base of the neck before the withers. After a moment's hesitation she dropped her head and chewed.
I held my hand up to her face and she rubbed against it - hard! up and down and all over, rubbed her eyes and then licked and chewed.
She keep putting her nose first in my hair and then right in my face so I could breath into her nostrils and we could exchange our life energy softly.
She placed her cheek on mine and we just stood there. And tears came to my eyes. I told her how much I loved her and wanted her to be able to express her love back. That I wanted to hear her and talk with her.
She placed me on her right side and I scratched under her mane from ears to mid neck at which point she leaned, and I mean leaned into me to scratch harder and then wrapped her head and neck around me. Sigh (that is me sighing)
Each one of these events took place and then she would take a step back. At one point she walked away and I thought okay enough for now so I went to sit on the big rock in her paddock where I used to sit. She walked over to the corner of her paddock and pooped and then walked back to where we had been! I got up and walked back to her.
I scratched her butt - and she stretched her neck out and then walked away.
This opening her heart to me is hard. She has kept a shell around herself for so long. I can feel it cracking. I am crying as I write this. This is such a huge step toward my dream with her.
Casey was also a bit more respectful and wanting the love and attention. When Cici left again to eat her hay and I sat down he quickly came over to me and showed me where I could scratch him! LOL He totally leaned into the scratch, stuck his nose in the air and made it long. He has no problem showing what he wants and his appreciation. Or displease when I stopped - he nipped. So I told him nip no scratch, soft nose I'll scratch. He's such a fast learner- got soft nose so I had to work harder!