Liberty

Today I played with Cici in the outdoor ring. I got my ball and cones and hoola hoop. Still nursing my left arm, so we walked around the ring letting Cici check things out and snort at them. Walked patterns around two cones, stopping at each one for her to touch with her nose, kicked the ball then I dropped the lead. She stayed with me as I walked, changed direction, wove in and out of objects. Kicked the ball in front of her and walked to it, kicked it and walked to it. She lowered her head and smelled the ball and then gave it a little push with her nose. Yippee!

I did some disengagement of hind end on her left side. Went to see how the right side was and she blocked me with her head. So back to left and tried right side again. After a bit of persistence she finally allowed me on her right, but when I asked for disengagement quickly repositioned me on her left. Hmmm how interesting.

Walked over to the hoola hoop lying on the ground. She immediately sniffed it and touched it with her nose. I asked her to walk forward and she place both front feet right in the circle. And stood quietly. Walked around more, back to hoola hoop. In and back out.

I picked it up. Whoa! Head up and she took a step back - looking at it now standing on edge. I backed up and then turned away from her and began walking away with hoop's edge dragging on the ground. She started to follow me about 3 board lengths (30 feet) away. And I walked and serpentined and changed direction and slowly she closed the distance. After just a few minutes I found that she was walking on my left - placing her right side toward the hoop. Hmmm how interesting! LOL.

When we were done I needed to put her turnout back on. With her offering her right side for the hoola hoop I was wondering if I could put the blanket on from that side. But no, she is quiet, but I watch her raise her head, watch her nostrils and that weight shift back - away. Lots of walking away, approach and retreat. All this still at liberty. What is interesting is that when she finally is willing to stand for the blanket it doesn't matter how long it takes me to sort out the blanket on her back - she just stands and waits.

Attention vs intention

Yesterday a friend came to visit with Casey (she just adores him) and Cici. She brought an apple for each. She was totally focused on Casey, oh fussed a bit over Cici, but it was Casey she wanted to see. And of course Casey was being himself and took the apple and really didn’t want to have anything else to do with her since no more food. He usually loves to have his arm pits scratched and my friend was really looking forward to accommodating him. But he would not let her near.

Thinking about this – I’ll go with too much intention! She was so focused on scratching him I think it was too much focused energy on his sides, and while he never went far he stayed just out of reach.

Cici, who now completely views me has hers and my time in the paddock all about "us" was like "hey what about me?!?!" I did scratch her, but quickly got distracted by my friend and Casey. No attention. Cici turned around and did a gentle body block on me with her hind end. And then she stood there with her butt facing me! Talk about intention! LOL

Nostrils

I seem to be focused on Cici nostrils as an indicator of how she is. We played in the indoor - place of lots of flaring LOL. I set up two cones to use for yo-yo game, want to work on backing. I notice immediately that she is not flaring her nostrils but seems instead to be contracting them. Her nose has a wrinkle in it, her lower chin is tight. I ask her first walk between the cones, then back and give her time to just think about what she has done.

I stand facing her, looking at her nostrils. The right one is larger, longer top to bottom, than the left one. Not flared. I wonder if maybe I'm nuts in what I think I've been seeing. Maybe her nostrils are just different sizes. That is possible. And maybe I've just been imagining things.

As I am having these thoughts Cici looks directly at me and slowly lengthens her left nostril so that it is the same size as the right!

Breathing

I am noticing that when Cici gets unconfident she will flare her nostrils and snort. Her breathes become very short, panicy. When playing the circling game, if I don't keep her attention she goes into automatic and quickly starts to breath as if she has run a 100 laps. She has her inside nostril flared more than the outside one! And it takes a long dwell time for her to release and relax.

Since I am able to move around more with my arm, I've started to halter her and bring her out of her paddock. I have to say she is very accommodating in that I ask her to lower her head so I can tie the halter - I still can't raise my left arm all that much. But just stepping out of the paddock is a bit of a nostril flaring event.

I had put cones out in the indoor to walk around and weave through and in no time she was taking short quick breaths. I realized my error - I asked too soon, so I just walked her around the arena to give her time to regain her confidence. We then just stood still and I slowly focused my attention on my breathing taking long slow deep breaths. I remembered Frederique saying he syncs his breaths with his horses so thought I'd try. In just a few minutes Cici was relaxing and breathing with me! Wow!

I then walked her around and wove through the cones and focused on keeping both our breaths calm and relaxed. As a right brain introvert her threshold is a very very fine line. This is a my challenge. Watching her nostrils is a great indicator of how she is doing!

Doing vs Being

I've been reading "Gallop to Freedom, training horses with the founding stars of Cavalia" by Magali Delagdo and Frederic Pignon. And Fred talks about observing and seeing what your horse is like, how she stands, how she breathes, how she holds her head, ears, eyes. He suggests trying different ways of touching and see what they like and dislike. And how to allow them to be themselves. And to be together with them. And some much more.

Today's undemanding time I thought I'd observe Cici. And try different ways of touching, scratching her. It is cold and muddy today. She has her blanket on and her neck and jaws are covered in dry mud. So I start to scratch the mud off of her. But she moves her head away. Hmmm, how interesting. I stand next to her quietly. And she stands next to me. I am noticing that when she chews she does it for much longer than before. I used to be happy if she did three chews. Now, well here I find myself counting, she will do six or seven. Notice I'm already doing things. Trying to get the mud off. Counting her chewing.

As the time passes my arm is getting tired so I go sit on the rock. She walks over to me. And quietly stands over me. I reach up to work some more on the dry mud. She moves her head out of the way. I drop my hand. I just sit. She swings her head over my head. Just breathing in my hair. She nuzzles my shoulder and starts to groom it LOL! But I have to sit still. Slowly I am hearing her. Quiet time. Just be.

She is teaching me to just be in the moment. No plans, no doing things, just be. Who is the master and who is the student now?

Continued undemanding time

Friday Cici, Casey and on the other side of the fence Bella, were all hanging out together. I walked into the paddock and after Cici greeted me I walked to the rock and sat down. Cici took a few moments then left Casey and Bella and walked over to hang out with me. Bella even nickered to her but she stayed by my side. How cool is that!

And today, Sunday she was standing in the shed. I came to the gate at since she looked at me I took that as permission to enter. Thinking back I could have waited at the gate to see what woud happen. Hmmm how interesting. I sat down and Casey came over. Started lipping my knee so I backed him up. Then I invited him in closer. Again lipping, which leads to nipping so I backed him up. By now Bella (mare in heat who has become his girl friend..an aside she is 16.3 and he is a very small mini) was at the fence making eyes at him so he backs and wanders over to her.

He nips at her through the fence. Can only reach up her arm pits and along bottom of her barrel. She squeals but stays put. Then noses touch, another nip and she turns to walk away. Casey saunders away from her, staying on the fence line and she completes a circle to follow him! Crafty devil is he. I can learn a lot watching this little guy.

All this while Cici is hanging out in the shed behind me, away from the fall weather flies that are biting. I am not paying her any attention as I am engrossed in Casey antics. I've been in the paddock maybe 10 minutes. I glance over at her and she walks out of the shed to where I am sitting on the rock. Sigh.

After about 15-20 minutes of rock sitting and hanging out with my girl I get up and walk away from her to see what she will do. She thinks about it a little while and then slowly walks to me. We stand together for a little bit and then I walk away again. She thinks some more and follows me. Then she walks off to Casey and Bella. I waited a bit then glance at her and walk slowly away again. Takes her a little before she is cutting across the paddock to my side.

More stories on Undemanding Time

Laura: At night I enjoy sitting in Sultan's stall and listening to him chew his hay, every few bites he swings his head over towards me and just touches my knee, I rub his face, he closes his eyes and then slowly returns to his hay...we repeat this over and over. Just last night for the first time I sat at the open stall doorway of Roo. I think I may have told you that he got right brained and unseated his trainer and she fractured her sacrum, so I am restarting him 100% naturally and she, luckily, is on board with this...anyway, Roo was eating and looking at me out of his right eye like he wasn't sure why I was sitting in the doorway and finally he left his hay and came over and sniffed me, I rubbed his face, he only allowed one pat on his face and turned away back to his hay...but this was huge for him, he is the fancy dressage dutch warmblood that had nothing but "make" in his 11 years of life...it's alot to undo but his trust in humans and his confidence are starting to come out.

Kris: Undemanding time is something isn't it? I went over planning on riding doing some finesse and freestyle today and I got there and there was some kids playing around the barn and I just was not in the mood to be bothered today so I took Chicle for a walk to find some grass. I figured the kids would be gone when I got back and I would ride then. Well, we ended up being gone for 2 hours. we found lots of good grass. I sat on the fence and he placed himself next to me like he was saying get on. I thought oh that's funny I'll scratch his back. He moved away. Hhmm interesting, what is he looking for? Scratched again when he moved close, this time he swished his tail at me. Ok he didn't want a scratch so I got on. Yep that was it. We moseyed all over the place eating grass. It was so relaxing I couldn't believe I was out for 2 hours. I was in the best mood the rest of the day.

Undemanding time

The most wonderful thing is coming out of the accident. I am spending lots and lots of not doing anything time with Cici and Casey. Spent lots of time being either nibbled on by Casey or ignored by Cici. But I continue to sit. Sometimes I stand next to Cici and scratch her all over til she walks away.

On Saturday it was sunny blue skies and she was just standing still. I walked up to her left side and started scratching her withers. Moved up her neck to her no-no muscles and then began to work on her jaws. She stood still, eyes half closed.

Then she s l o w l y shifted her weight back and took maybe two steps backwards. I was thinking okay guess this session is over. But once her nose was past me she walked forward two steps. All I did was turn around 180 and began to scratch her right side. Eyes closed she sighed.

For about an hour she kept positioning herself for me to scratch, shoulders, hips, butt, jaw. Sometimes she would walk forward then turn back, sometimes she backed then walked forward! This was soooo wonderful.

On Sunday I wondered if it would happen again. When I walked into her paddock she walked to greet me. I went to scratch her but she walked away. Okay I thought, I'll just go sit on the large rock. I walked to rock and she turned and followed. We spent the next hour soaking up the sun. She stood with her head over me, sometimes dropping it to nuzzle my hair or ear or groom my right shoulder at bit. I kept the flies off her legs with my carrot stick. Lots of licking, chewing. We even had yawning. She started it and I got caught up and yawned and she yawned and I yawned. WoW!

Yesterday, Tuesday, I got there late in the afternoon. Hay time was soon. Usually she stands by the gate watching and waiting. I went and sat on my rock chair. She came and stood over me. Would glance over her shoulder at any activity in the vicinity of the barn, but stayed with me. Allowed Casey to join us. So the three of us just hung out together.

Ground Bees

I haven't been posting for a while because I am sitting here typing one handed as I broke my not so humerous between elbow and shoulder on August 12th.

Out on a trail ride with Rebekah and Nancy, Ground bees stung Cici and she went up and spun and I just stayed and went down. Fortunately bees didn’t notice me, as I would up just sitting on the ground holding my arm thinking, yup its broken. As long as I didn't shift position it was fine.

Cici just ran off a few steps and stood there – what are you doing sitting on the ground and what do I do now? My two friends' horses were jumping around. Rebekah dismounted and walked up to Cici but Patrick was jumping and circling and I think the bees were after him. Cici took off and went back to the barn. Apparently removing her bridle in the process.

Nancy also dismounted as Dane would not stand still either. They both walked back with their horses, actually Nancy ran back, gave her horse to Mary and ran back to me. I was just sitting in the woods, enjoying the quiet. Had my fly swish to keep the mosquitoes at bay. Nancy got behind me and lifted me up to my feet by my butt and with her leading the way we bushwhack out of the woods to a nearby road. Rebekah had already called 911 so the ambulance was at the barn. They turned around and met us on the road around the corner.

Spent about 4 hours in Norwood ER before released. The Doc offered me percoset which I refused. Asked for something non opiate LOL. They looked at me in utter shock, conferred and then came up with 800 mg of ibuprofen.

The worst part of this is that I had a feeling. Before going out on the trails I did ground stuff with Cici. I rode her in the ring in first her halter and carrot stick and then bridle and carrot stick. She was a bit resistant at first but then relaxed. I kept thinking about falling off and hitting the ground. I tried to shake these thoughts but they just kept coming back. I said to myself Cici is listening to me, what is with this? I admit I thought maybe today I should not go out on the trails. But I kept saying why not? Cici is not spooky or resistant.

Nancy asked if she could join Rebekah and me. This was going to be nice. As we went through the indoor, Mary was teaching Julia and Sarah and she said to me, "If you need the paramedics just give me a call."

She has never said anything like that. I responded,"Have my cell phone."

Well have to say after the accident I told her that if she every feels like saying that again to anyone going out on the trails to stop them and not allow them to leave.

So here's a question, if I had heeded my premonition would that have been that or would the fall have happened another time another place?

Assertiveness training

I took a two hour lesson with Kelly this past Sunday. Found out the what I thought was Cici being unconfident after I asked for something, and therefore was giving her lots of time to digest is really her dominance and Kelly said she (Cici) is blowing me off. Oh Boy did I ever read that wrong. So the lesson was an assertiveness training session for me and an attitude adjustment for Cici. We are both working fine now.

Circling Game fixed. Backing is a work in progress. Kelly commented that Cici has very tense "nono muscles" and that I should massage them. Nono muscles are the ones on either side of her pole that when she says, "No I'm not going to do that" and raises her head are engaged! We even did a bit of sideways. Holy cow! Opps oh boy!

I had asked Kelly to bring a Parelli saddle so I could ride in one and see the difference. She brought hers. Duh. To say it was big, huge, humongous on Cici does not even begin to describe it. Kind of like huge saddle with a head and tail sticking out. Kelly is tall and her horse is apparently some enormous warmblood. When I say the girth she had, and the saddle has long billets, I quickly got out my 20" dressage girth.

It was incredible to ride in. Put me completely on my balance point. And when I first got on it - it felt like I was riding on a bareback pad. The tree is soooo wide, the literature says Parelli regular is 7x wider than an regular saddle's wide. And I have a wide saddle. Their extra wide, which is what Kelly had, was like - no words to describe it other to say that the next morning when I woke up my hips were not happy. Nothing that 2 Advils could not cure.

Rode Cici with the rope halter and carrot stick. Direct rein with support from the carrot stick - driving supporting porcupine. Cici was quiet with no resistance after the first carrot stick touch her face experience. And then after that no head tossing, just quiet turns. After a while I just had to see what riding with the bridle would bring. The same.

Oh and I learned how to fix the slow one step drift from the mounting block. Kelly said again a dominance thing. So there had to be consequences. And there were. When I got home and rode on Monday I only had to tap her on her butt once and was able to mount quietly. Hmmmm how interesting.