More stories on Undemanding Time

Laura: At night I enjoy sitting in Sultan's stall and listening to him chew his hay, every few bites he swings his head over towards me and just touches my knee, I rub his face, he closes his eyes and then slowly returns to his hay...we repeat this over and over. Just last night for the first time I sat at the open stall doorway of Roo. I think I may have told you that he got right brained and unseated his trainer and she fractured her sacrum, so I am restarting him 100% naturally and she, luckily, is on board with this...anyway, Roo was eating and looking at me out of his right eye like he wasn't sure why I was sitting in the doorway and finally he left his hay and came over and sniffed me, I rubbed his face, he only allowed one pat on his face and turned away back to his hay...but this was huge for him, he is the fancy dressage dutch warmblood that had nothing but "make" in his 11 years of life...it's alot to undo but his trust in humans and his confidence are starting to come out.

Kris: Undemanding time is something isn't it? I went over planning on riding doing some finesse and freestyle today and I got there and there was some kids playing around the barn and I just was not in the mood to be bothered today so I took Chicle for a walk to find some grass. I figured the kids would be gone when I got back and I would ride then. Well, we ended up being gone for 2 hours. we found lots of good grass. I sat on the fence and he placed himself next to me like he was saying get on. I thought oh that's funny I'll scratch his back. He moved away. Hhmm interesting, what is he looking for? Scratched again when he moved close, this time he swished his tail at me. Ok he didn't want a scratch so I got on. Yep that was it. We moseyed all over the place eating grass. It was so relaxing I couldn't believe I was out for 2 hours. I was in the best mood the rest of the day.

Undemanding time

The most wonderful thing is coming out of the accident. I am spending lots and lots of not doing anything time with Cici and Casey. Spent lots of time being either nibbled on by Casey or ignored by Cici. But I continue to sit. Sometimes I stand next to Cici and scratch her all over til she walks away.

On Saturday it was sunny blue skies and she was just standing still. I walked up to her left side and started scratching her withers. Moved up her neck to her no-no muscles and then began to work on her jaws. She stood still, eyes half closed.

Then she s l o w l y shifted her weight back and took maybe two steps backwards. I was thinking okay guess this session is over. But once her nose was past me she walked forward two steps. All I did was turn around 180 and began to scratch her right side. Eyes closed she sighed.

For about an hour she kept positioning herself for me to scratch, shoulders, hips, butt, jaw. Sometimes she would walk forward then turn back, sometimes she backed then walked forward! This was soooo wonderful.

On Sunday I wondered if it would happen again. When I walked into her paddock she walked to greet me. I went to scratch her but she walked away. Okay I thought, I'll just go sit on the large rock. I walked to rock and she turned and followed. We spent the next hour soaking up the sun. She stood with her head over me, sometimes dropping it to nuzzle my hair or ear or groom my right shoulder at bit. I kept the flies off her legs with my carrot stick. Lots of licking, chewing. We even had yawning. She started it and I got caught up and yawned and she yawned and I yawned. WoW!

Yesterday, Tuesday, I got there late in the afternoon. Hay time was soon. Usually she stands by the gate watching and waiting. I went and sat on my rock chair. She came and stood over me. Would glance over her shoulder at any activity in the vicinity of the barn, but stayed with me. Allowed Casey to join us. So the three of us just hung out together.

Ground Bees

I haven't been posting for a while because I am sitting here typing one handed as I broke my not so humerous between elbow and shoulder on August 12th.

Out on a trail ride with Rebekah and Nancy, Ground bees stung Cici and she went up and spun and I just stayed and went down. Fortunately bees didn’t notice me, as I would up just sitting on the ground holding my arm thinking, yup its broken. As long as I didn't shift position it was fine.

Cici just ran off a few steps and stood there – what are you doing sitting on the ground and what do I do now? My two friends' horses were jumping around. Rebekah dismounted and walked up to Cici but Patrick was jumping and circling and I think the bees were after him. Cici took off and went back to the barn. Apparently removing her bridle in the process.

Nancy also dismounted as Dane would not stand still either. They both walked back with their horses, actually Nancy ran back, gave her horse to Mary and ran back to me. I was just sitting in the woods, enjoying the quiet. Had my fly swish to keep the mosquitoes at bay. Nancy got behind me and lifted me up to my feet by my butt and with her leading the way we bushwhack out of the woods to a nearby road. Rebekah had already called 911 so the ambulance was at the barn. They turned around and met us on the road around the corner.

Spent about 4 hours in Norwood ER before released. The Doc offered me percoset which I refused. Asked for something non opiate LOL. They looked at me in utter shock, conferred and then came up with 800 mg of ibuprofen.

The worst part of this is that I had a feeling. Before going out on the trails I did ground stuff with Cici. I rode her in the ring in first her halter and carrot stick and then bridle and carrot stick. She was a bit resistant at first but then relaxed. I kept thinking about falling off and hitting the ground. I tried to shake these thoughts but they just kept coming back. I said to myself Cici is listening to me, what is with this? I admit I thought maybe today I should not go out on the trails. But I kept saying why not? Cici is not spooky or resistant.

Nancy asked if she could join Rebekah and me. This was going to be nice. As we went through the indoor, Mary was teaching Julia and Sarah and she said to me, "If you need the paramedics just give me a call."

She has never said anything like that. I responded,"Have my cell phone."

Well have to say after the accident I told her that if she every feels like saying that again to anyone going out on the trails to stop them and not allow them to leave.

So here's a question, if I had heeded my premonition would that have been that or would the fall have happened another time another place?

Assertiveness training

I took a two hour lesson with Kelly this past Sunday. Found out the what I thought was Cici being unconfident after I asked for something, and therefore was giving her lots of time to digest is really her dominance and Kelly said she (Cici) is blowing me off. Oh Boy did I ever read that wrong. So the lesson was an assertiveness training session for me and an attitude adjustment for Cici. We are both working fine now.

Circling Game fixed. Backing is a work in progress. Kelly commented that Cici has very tense "nono muscles" and that I should massage them. Nono muscles are the ones on either side of her pole that when she says, "No I'm not going to do that" and raises her head are engaged! We even did a bit of sideways. Holy cow! Opps oh boy!

I had asked Kelly to bring a Parelli saddle so I could ride in one and see the difference. She brought hers. Duh. To say it was big, huge, humongous on Cici does not even begin to describe it. Kind of like huge saddle with a head and tail sticking out. Kelly is tall and her horse is apparently some enormous warmblood. When I say the girth she had, and the saddle has long billets, I quickly got out my 20" dressage girth.

It was incredible to ride in. Put me completely on my balance point. And when I first got on it - it felt like I was riding on a bareback pad. The tree is soooo wide, the literature says Parelli regular is 7x wider than an regular saddle's wide. And I have a wide saddle. Their extra wide, which is what Kelly had, was like - no words to describe it other to say that the next morning when I woke up my hips were not happy. Nothing that 2 Advils could not cure.

Rode Cici with the rope halter and carrot stick. Direct rein with support from the carrot stick - driving supporting porcupine. Cici was quiet with no resistance after the first carrot stick touch her face experience. And then after that no head tossing, just quiet turns. After a while I just had to see what riding with the bridle would bring. The same.

Oh and I learned how to fix the slow one step drift from the mounting block. Kelly said again a dominance thing. So there had to be consequences. And there were. When I got home and rode on Monday I only had to tap her on her butt once and was able to mount quietly. Hmmmm how interesting.

It's not about

At the barn yesterday Mary had a new horse that was dropped off as a possible candidate for a school horse. When I got there she yelled to me, “You are better at talking than I am....” I’m thinking huh? Now I think I’ve mentioned that Mary is incredibly intuitive with the horses. She likes to check what she is getting with what I do. She goes on that the new horse hates his name. Is that right? Yup! This is a very pretty paint black and white who has been a school horse forever. Kids come and go, trainers come and go and I get the feeling he has moved around a lot. No one person to love him.

Its interesting isn’t it? They want that “one person”. Herd animals, need a single connection. I get that over and over and over. Horses who’s person isn’t around much get in trouble. Horses that don’t have a person either explode or go inside themselves.

Mary asks me to help evaluate him. He had just come. I put a rope halter on him and took him to the outside ring to play with. First of all he is totally confused – where's the saddle? Where’s the bridle? Aren’t you going to just jump on me? Boy you are strange! You do funny things. (I can’t tell you how often I hear this when I play with a horse for the first time).

Aside from what I learned about him, I learned a very interesting thing about me. That seems to be my theme since I got Cici. I think its about her and found out its about me! Its not about the horse! As I am driving home I realize, one of those duh hit yourself up the side of the head moments that Mary values my expertise. Horse expertise. And asks for my help.

I think back to when I started out as an adult rider. Notice the word rider. I’m skipping over the adult. I “didn’t know much” and I completely depended on Cindy (trainer who became friend). I remember thinking lots of times how would I ever be able to take care of Jeepers without her. Then I broke out from under her to find myself in another situation where Pam made it clear she knew I didn’t know anything. Sigh. More years there. But obviously I’ve watched, absorbed, read, grown, explored and found my own way.

Mary does not view me as inept or unknowing. She asks my opinion and melds it with hers. I’m not saying I know everything and am treated like a guru. Just like a valued part of a team. Blows my mind!

So back to this horse. He does not like his name. Of course he was never asked. Think this is his form of rebellion. I hate it I hate it and you are not doing anything about it! So we blew his mind by not using it, doing quiet ground work and I asked him what he would like to be called. He said Black Beauty. He is black from behind his shoulders forward – all black face. And white and some more black. But he was not sure. Interestingly thinks of himself as black. I said we would see if we could not come up with some other names to offer him.

He is very nice, quiet, very curious which is a good thing – likes to check things out with his nose. Had no issues with friendly all over, string flipping over and around him, big yoga ball, walked right across tarp before I had it completely flat, ground poles, ropes. Hmm how interesting.

Circling Game

Struggling, still struggling. Have a lesson coming up in a week and a half with Kelly and I want to show some progress. Maybe that's the problem. Think I need to have it perfect by then? No that's not it. I just would like a little better send.

Today I went back to putting the plastic bag on the carrot stick. Backing up still very sticky. But am getting a couple of steps. Then I ask and send with the plastic bag laden carrot stick savvy string. Surprise! Cici went out and out and I let the lead slide through my hand til she was almost at the end. She continued for maybe 1/3 of the way around then turned and faced and walked in to me. I thanked her for coming in and asking a question, backed her up a couple of steps and asked and sent her again. Again out almost all the way 1/3 around and turned and came back to me. This was all to the left.

This time when she came in she was giving me her right eye. Cici is very sensitive and lets me know when the pressure on one side or the other is too much. So I took the opportunity to ask her to go to the right. She took maybe 2 or 3 steps and immediately turned sharply back to me. I thanked her. Waited for her to thinking and chew and asked again. Still staying in close and only a couple of steps.

It was hot and humid today. I thought about how she was now standing facing me showing me her left eye. Hmmm how interesting. Too much right side pressure? I have to chew on this. I thought about the nice send on the left and decided I was going to stop for the day. Let her eat more grass.

Goddard State Park

I don't even know where to start. Today got up at 6:00AM to get to the barn to trailer with Rebekah to the Bay State Trail Riders Association's trail ride at Goddard State Park in Rhode Island. This is a ride I've heard about for two years. The trails are along the edge of Narraganset Bay. This is an annual ride, so its in the summer and hot. I never felt I could ask Jeeps to trailer that long a distance in the potential heat, then ride her for about 2 hours and then trailer back. So each year when Rebekah headed out I felt a pang of...well envy.

But I did it today with Cici! We had a wonderful amazing time. We had runners come up behind us. The first time she did a little spook. We passed a guy on a bike. Dogs. Cars. Crossed a road. Walked on the road. Saw a deer in the woods. Other horses, both coming up behind us, in front of us. Even heading the other way. Waves lapping the shore. Voices coming out of where? Had to walk through big puddles. Mud. Along trails in the woods, that then opened up on one side or the other to large expanses of ocean (okay bay) or grassy fields. Pass picnic tables. Did I mention dogs? Barking dogs. Hikers.

And through all this I was comfortable. Cici did her snorting most of the time. There were only short periods where she was truly relaxed and really lowered her head. I did not ride with a casual rein. I kept them bridged and worked on not having contact, but I did have them short enough so I could take contact easily.

I did a lot of yawning, like Kelly Sigler did in the clinic, to see if I could relax any tension I might have and to get Cici to relax. Apparently I was doing it loud enough that Rebekah asked me if I was going to be able to stay awake! LOL!

When we reached the end of trails and began heading back Cici really started to toss her head. I think she was just tired of the bit. The half way point was about what the longest of our home rides is. So I got lots of arguments from her about any sort of contact.

I learned I need to work more on her zone 5. Things, people, animals coming up behind her. More in zone 3. Saddling her in the field where she was more interested in the grass than me. Mounting, well I mounted from the right. Although out on the trails at one point we heard loud voices but could not see the people. Patrick would not go forward and Cici this time would not go forward. I hopped off and hand walked her past and then mounted from a tree root from the left. And zone 1 - the bit issue.

And I passed another threshold!

A Doe

Out trail riding today with Rebekah and her horse Patrick. We passed a young doe standing in the woods about 5 feet off the trail. She stood still and watched with interest as we walked by. I don't think either Cici or Patrick noticed her as she didn't move.

The bugs were out in force, the little ones, and Cici was getting annoyed at them. I noticed that she will walk faster when she is annoyed. I swished her a lot and she seemed to forget about them.

Then on the way back Patrick walked right by our doe again. She had moved up the trail and was now standing in the middle of the blueberry bushes. We walked by her and seems she decided at that point to bound up the hill. The sound of her, maybe her movement, caught Cici by surprise and she, yup she took off. Boy was I caught off guard. But stayed on and got her to stop. Fortunately Patrick was ahead of us and since he had totally missed the deer he was just quietly waiting. Once we caught up with him, Cici relaxed and I went back to casual rein. Hmmm how interesting! My emotional fitness is growing.

Firsts

When I went out on the trail on Monday the bugs were pretty bad and going for Cici face and neck. She was doing a lot of head flipping, trying to get them off. Rebekah commented that I had forgotten my swish. I said I left it behind because I hadn't checked Cici out with it.

Well I did today. She was in the barn and I just took it out of my cubby and she startled in place. Hmmm how interesting. So I added it to the pile of stuff I was taking to the outdoor ring. Who needs a carrot stick when there is a swish?! She was quite leery of it. So lots of approach and retreat - walking away and letting her catch up. Waving it about. Gently letting it touch her side. Just taking my time. No hurry. No big deal. And after about 20 minutes I could swish her face from either side, up over her ears, under her jaw, up and down her neck. I friendlied the swish all over her body.

By the time I had tacked her up and mounted—from the left—I was able to swish her from the saddle. And this was a good thing because Kara showed up and we went out for a late afternoon/early evening ride in the woods. The bugs were out biting and I was able to swish Cici free of them.

Oh another first. First time we lead the whole way. She wasn't sure at the beginning going past Patrick's paddock. But I just asked and she went on. She quickly took the responsibility of leading seriously and didn't make many attempts to eat. So I was able to ride on a relatively casual rein. Those firsts sure seem to be piling up.

The horse that shows up

Between the rain and trail riding I have been playing on the ground with Cici. She is getting more and more comfortable with me and with this comfort is coming more dominance. And more LBI behavior. The Why should I do that? What's in it for me?

So I'm having to rethink what I doing. Backing is stuck, circling is stuck, she likes stick to me - well after a little convincing. Disengaging hindend and forehand are softening, playing with the ball - got it on her back on the right side! Some days she is more willing for me to play on the right side as opposed to the left. We have not reached a balance yet. Seems to be one side or the other. And I know better than to assume which side on which day!

Saddling is the same. Some days I do everything from the right! Some days I can mix it up. Some days its only from left. Mounting has been mostly from the right. I'm the one learning here it seems. Have you ever tried to mount smoothly from the right? After how many years of mounting from left?!?! And then out at Noon Hill's trail ride she was fine about my mounting from the left at the trailer and again out in the woods. Okay I get it, work with the horse that shows up!