Time time time. Taking the time it takes, put the relationship first. Ah, today I feel like a failure. I put my wants - I want to trail ride - ahead of my relationship. And the worst thing about it was that I was totally aware of what was happening.
Monday morning, should be working, but wanted to go out on the trails this morning with V. Got up late, delayed and then when I finally was organized and ready to play with Cici we only had half an hour before the "agreed upon" time to go out. I always get to the barn with about an hour to play before going out. So today felt I "had" to do my pre ride check quickly.
Cici was not in the mood to do anything really. Wanted to eat her hay and maybe take a walk. But I had her out on the circle and I was micromanaging and demanding. Trot, trot now, trot, now canter. Don't stop and come in, stay out on the circle and lets just get through this walk trot canter checklist. When I finally asked her to come in she walked in and stood at an angle AWAY from me with her head firmly looking away. No head to my chest. No looking at me. Looking away!!!!! This is neither an oh boy or a how interesting moment. This is a moment of my shame.
I spent the day with my head in the oven
23 hours ago